It was a very last minute thing. I called up and made the arrangements with trepidation. I was quoted a rate. $112 for what would take less than 15 minutes at best. [Ohmygosh. He had better be a god for that kind of money.]
I was a little nervous. I didn't like the idea of spending that kind of cash for something so . . . avoidable, but it had to be done. Admittedly, I had used their service a few times before, and had only been charged $75 for the same 15 minutes, but I guess with the cost of gas, etc.
Never mind.
So there I stood, waiting. He had been given explicit directions on how to find my abode and he was right on time. He parked behind my car. "No, no, no. That won't work. You'll have to park somewhere else. Over there. I can see three spots available, two together. Park in one of those instead", I directed. He drove off and passed the first parking spot. Then the second two.
Duh.
Upon realizing he passed all three spaces, he tried to back up and into the first space.
Aint gonna happen, cowboy.
He went back out on to the street, then came back in and managed to pass all three spaces A SECOND TIME.
Double duh.
I was getting the feeling it was a bad omen. If he ccouldn't even manage to find a gaping hole of a parking space -- TWICE -- then what else was he capable of fouling up?
On the third pass, he finally got it right, but by then, I knew I was in trouble.
As he approached, he broke the news. "Unfortunately, you were misquoted over the phone. The rate is actually $169.", he said in a matter of fact tone. "WHAT???" I spewed. "That's some misquote!", I ranted. "Do you still want to continue?", he asked with a sense of doubt. I hesitated for a moment. "You're here. It has to be done. Let's just get it over with.", I lamented.
He followed me up the stairs and to the door. I didn't ask him if he was married or had a girlfriend, and honestly, I didn't care. There was no use in making small talk. We both knew what had to be done, so why waste pleasantries. "Go ahead. I'll be right there.", I said.
Forty five minutes later . . .
He still wasn't done. I was cold and tired and I wanted it to be over. I couldn't believe it took him that long. The other guys were so much faster. But . . . as my gut hinted long before he started, he obviously had NO CLUE what he was doing.
At long last, he finished. I was relieved.
Unfortunately, within that 45 minutes, the rate had jumped yet again. "That will be $199, and I can even take credit cards!", he announced gleefully.
I wanted to smack him. Hard.
But I didn't. Instead, I grudgingly handed over the plastic.
"I don't get it. Why was tonight so much more expensive than the other times?" I whined. "It was spur of the moment, and of course, you called past normal business hours.", he explained.
"Emergency lock-out service is never cheap.", he said.
He had a point.
But not a date. Not with me, anyway.
So, I lied. Sue me. However, the story and the details are real. Very real, unfortunately, and so were the rates. As a matter of fact, it happened just last night. Oh, it was fun. My hair was wet, and I had on open toe shoes and a lightweight leather coat because I had only planned to be outside for a few minutes. (Until that split second after the door closed and I realized I had left my keys inside of course.) [Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!] The cherry on the cake was that it took him 45 minutes of trying to jimmythe lock, only to tell me that he couldn't do it, so he'd have to drill it off and replace the whole knob, key and all.
Fabulous. And for an additional fee, of course.
And about the dating thing? Well, I haven't been in contact with any of my exes, been on a date or a dating site in at least two years now (maybe longer? I lost track), and it has been the most blissful, stress-free time I can ever remember. In short, life is good.
Just wanted to share, though, since it has been several months since I've written anything or stopped in. My life is so different now than it was when I was in the thick of journaling here. Do I have a journal or a blog elsewhere? Nope. This is it. Even though I don't come here much any more, I try to keep the account active because I just never know when I might have the urge to write about a $200 "date". ::grin:: ="http://edit.journals.aol.com/_do/<!--WEBBOT%20bot=" -- ALT="Site Meter"startspan HTMLMarkup?>" target=_top> var site="SM1GUIDE"
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