That Old Black Magic

The most unusual thing happened to me the other day at work. I was moving a pile of stuff from one place to another, my head down, intently focused on not dropping anything [Because I've become a colossal klutz these last few years. Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone, okay?] My hair -- which is more often in my face rather than away from it -- had done it's usual thing, and I wasn't seeing too well because of it. 

Out of nowhere, without any warning, and without uttering a single word, one of the guys I work with gently brushed a small section of it off my face and onto my neck to move it out of the way. His finger tips ever-so-slightly grazed my skin, and the touch was so gentle, that it sent a chill straight down my spine. However, I didn't physically or verbally acknowledge the touch, no less the feeling, and just kept on going. 

In that split second, I was reminded of how much I used to crave affection from members of the opposite sex whom I found attractive. More than anything else, affection (not sex, not a sense of belonging, not ego stroking, not even companionship), was the primary driving force behind my desire to date or take on a relationship. 

I was a cuddle junkie, if you will. And it was horrible. 

It was a merry-go-round I thought I'd never be able get off of, and it was the primary reason why I dated (and stuck with!) guys who were obviously not right for me on so many other levels. (Remember Mr. [Not So] Wonderful -- a.k.a. MW?)

But, as fate would have it, after Blondie, (the very last guy I dated), my need for affection dissolved almost overnight. With that burden removed from my soul, it was very, very easy for me to start the dating hiatus which has melted away 98% of my stress, and has brought me so much contentment.

Because I no longer feel the desire to be physically affectionate (though my cats would probably tell you otherwise), I thought it had abandoned me for good. Apparently not. Much to my shock, those feelings aren't dead after all. Just sleeping. [Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]

Ah, sweet retreat.

Although I'm happy with where I am in my life right now, I'm also glad to know that if someday, the right guy comes along, I won't be blocked from wading back into the dating pool, should I desire to do so. 

Wonders never cease.  ="http://edit.journals.aol.com/_do/<!--WEBBOT%20bot=" -- ALT="Site Meter"startspan HTMLMarkup?>" target=_top> var site="SM1GUIDE"

Source: http://journals.aol.com/somenuttychic/ASingleWomansGuidetotheUniverse/entries/2008/04/09/that-old-black-magic/3116